tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-196191942012-02-17T10:26:09.932+10:30Winner of 'The Schmoozer Award' for 2007... Chronicling one man's journey through fatherhood, self-diagnosed dementia, the effects of lethargy brought on by insomnia, and the ongoing struggle with follicular displacement therapy; the other day I woke up with a fellow scribe's dentures on my nose.Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.comBlogger1391100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-34829836169785577852010-02-02T00:15:00.003+10:302010-02-02T00:19:26.050+10:30

2 kids... One is 3 years old-going-on-17 and the other is 3 months... going on... extremely cute, loveable, untainted by her father's flaws... Both are girls... Life? Well... As the profile avatar would suggest... Dan-fucken-dee...

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-44084810519913678562007-08-10T14:41:00.000+09:302007-08-10T14:17:57.557+09:30

...you never really wanted to know about me anyway:1. It's a daily struggle for me to understand why anyone would choose skimmed milk (light, 1% fat-99% water, diet, et al.) over the full liquefied blubber version. I mean, if I thought it a wise move, I'd pour additional water into my cup full of coffee and sugar granules before the eyes have fully calibrated the focus necessary to get me through

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com29tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-33975770503709425832007-07-20T13:34:00.000+09:302007-07-20T13:40:29.812+09:30

The tabloids in my home town recently went nuts by stating that I was dead. As with most things written in a(ny) newspaper, this piece of claptrap isn't even close to resembling the truth. Furthermore, I have photos to prove it.Stay tuned for visual encounters of the two dimensional kind.

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-53383666102533637282007-06-26T13:10:00.000+09:302007-06-26T13:31:21.584+09:30

The end of the term / course is just around the corner. It's the middle of Week 10; stu-dents finished their exams yesterday which meant teach-hers went home, cracked their heads against a collective wall, spilling grades of varying success onto stu-dents' hopes and / or dreams.I failed one out of fifteen. Perhaps that should be rephrased: one out of fifteen students whose work I graded managed

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-11531466249580115302007-06-15T15:00:00.000+09:302007-06-15T14:58:07.240+09:30

Message found in a bottle on a lawn on North Terrace:Trapped in a vacuum of permanent marking.In an octopus' garden.Can't discern left from numbers.Three-eyed man.Smiles nervously to a Vegemite Sandwich.Crusty words slurring into drainage system.Substitute led refill cartridges with poison darts.Natives not native at all but restless all the same.Pygmy. Pygmy. Pygmy.Must go to the market.Food

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-14470478976013012432007-05-28T11:47:00.000+09:302008-11-19T08:47:35.773+10:30

The sun setting in reverse chronological order looks a bit like this...

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-50726471720082167742007-05-25T15:38:00.000+09:302007-05-25T14:39:32.524+09:30

With the exception of MOB, who has every right to tag me - in the plutonic sense amidst the daily virtual embraces and back-pats of the blogosphere, and whom I have already forgiven in my heart of hearts although not in writing (until now) - I would like to give all other blogaholics inclined to include me in any form of future intercontinental tagging event one of two options prior to inlcuding

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-67327011193235269072007-05-11T15:15:00.000+09:302007-05-11T14:53:51.291+09:30

This is a rant.MP3 players used to piss me off: The pivotal ingredient to encouraging anti-social behaviour on a global scale, thought I of these mini devices of silent cacophony displayed by humans somewhere on the human anatomy much like a wanker warning to others visible from afar. Now that my own MP3 player, the one and the same that I acquired as a gift from a relative Last Christmas (I gave

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-50397711177044765262007-04-30T13:23:00.000+09:302007-05-03T11:10:40.179+09:30

It's back to the grind today with a pike and two-and-a-half twists thrown in to ensure my professional development... how ought one put it?... develops into a picturesque landscape of academic awe.*The weekend recently passed was fabulous: it rained non-stop on Saturday which enabled the wife, baby and I the time we so desperately needed to remain in our jammies until the late pm; I stayed up

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-14695704627835562302007-04-24T08:36:00.000+09:302007-04-24T08:37:45.203+09:30

This is an update.

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-14886792619657713772007-04-19T09:33:00.000+09:302007-04-19T09:27:12.956+09:30

Today marks the day on which I turn a day older than my most recent birthday. Aren't I a bloody marvel?Incidentally, I share a birthday - by date only, mind you - with Adelaide's eldest lady, though the vast gap between her twinkling eyes and my eyelids at half-mast still holds firm as she celebrated her 110th birthday this time around. May there be plenty more (for both of us).I can't wait for

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-71046969147773903232007-04-10T09:00:00.000+09:302008-11-19T08:47:37.164+10:30

It's long but that's only coz I haven't written and need to purge this here blocked mind o' mine. Also, relax coz there are photos and they're worth it... If you can't stand words, the option of scrolling down and perving on the photos is an obvious alternative to reading. PS Reading is good for you.It begins: People in the state awake with expectancy as anticipation of rain - of any volume -

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-53472346071644343372007-03-14T12:22:00.000+10:302007-03-14T12:42:45.479+10:30

Insight into the future, as it would be if I were a decrepit old man, came my way the other day. Here's the long and the short of it...It was another gorgeous Sunday in the hills of Adelaide. My friend Edward III and his significant other made their way to the Kaufman abode amongst the gum trees from their 'hood in the eastern corner of Adelaide. Their chosen method of transportation was a trusty

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-78485710802938403462007-03-07T23:52:00.000+10:302008-11-19T08:47:37.466+10:30

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-85355779762086769352007-03-07T23:50:00.000+10:302008-11-19T08:47:37.654+10:30

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-44323449448430133492007-02-02T21:13:00.000+10:302008-11-19T08:47:37.772+10:30

See if you can spot my main point with this one.The sentence I did not want to read today has appeared in black and white. What's more, I went and read it. Who's the dickhead now?'Andrew Flintoff wins the toss. England will bat.' Hoo-fucken-ray... Another day of limited Limited Overs ahead of us. The question I will pose, yet again, he adds with the bold function for emphasis, is what makes

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-42828402177826583542007-01-23T23:23:00.000+10:302008-11-19T08:47:38.683+10:30

...It's been a mightily long time since I spun some finger-tipped wonderment in the form of a learned music-inspired tapestry. Occasionally, or as recent events would have it a lot less than hardly ever, I encounter a new artiste or group of artistes who grapple with my flabby man boobs with their eyes firmly focused on the big prize; ripping through bones, sinew, corpuscles and traces of krypton

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-34917551958464530362007-01-13T10:48:00.000+10:302008-11-19T08:47:39.526+10:30

...Christmas and the changing of the guard in chronology have passed by without too many streamers or brass instruments falling from the ceiling. Priorities have been culled to a singular entity: my daughter. The rest has somehow fallen into place whenever my eyelids haven't been closed.As an advertisement for a local television station reports, the world is an amazing place. Here is photographic

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-43278274503496599322007-01-03T13:13:00.000+10:302007-01-03T13:15:04.675+10:30

...'Twas back to the grind this week when January von Sekond rapped his boney knuckles against the bell of financial relief. As I've said many a time, and I'm quoting myself here for the umpteenth time: 'To be burdened with work is one thing; to be slack for a fortnight, watching the cricket on the telly with a few beers in and on ma belly, without the cumbersome cloak of monetary security to

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-79201694286329456242006-12-19T12:09:00.000+10:302008-11-19T08:47:39.716+10:30

......

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1165228850001975322006-12-04T21:16:00.000+10:302006-12-04T21:11:45.896+10:30

...On Friday, December 1st, at precisely 10:24 am, the universe provided me with my first offspring: a gorgeous and determined baby girl with a lifetime of love from her proud parents and family in front of her.I am a true believer in balance...Again....

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1164887496968589872006-11-30T22:35:00.000+10:302006-11-30T22:32:56.316+10:30

...In a rare show of admiration for those who excel in the non-gentlemanly game of cricket, I would like to congratulate Pakistan's Mohammad Yousuf for bettering Sir Isaac Vivian Alexander Richards' unbeatable world best tally for runs scored in a calendar year.The often bearded Yousuf, whose resulting friction when running between the wickets surely cost him a further 83 runs during the time

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1164769136872311272006-11-29T16:24:00.000+10:302006-11-29T15:17:49.616+10:30

..."He's gone down [to the nets] to work on a few technical things," explained England's coach, Duncan Fletcher. "He's pretty confident that can help him improve his bowling."- DF answering questions about England's spearhead bowler Eddie Hemmings? Actually, no. It was DF answering questions about England's spearhead bowler Chuck Harmison (care of Cricinfo.com).Personally, I think a few days in a

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1163769632129230432006-11-21T13:00:00.000+10:302006-11-21T13:08:38.016+10:30

Generally speaking, I've been impressed with what I've seen around me in the City of Churches, not that I've done a great deal more than skip along the footpath following another triumphant arrival into the city where I negated the bus driver's homicidal driving technique and recently-out-of-gaol stare via the rear vision mirror in order to bring your this, I guess classic post.Adelaide: the

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1162780032316229452006-11-11T16:11:00.000+10:302006-11-11T16:03:41.740+10:30

To access the rant about IKEA, may I direct your interests to the Blue and Yellow Door...The Purple Door:It's all been a haze of late, I shit you not. My first full-time job since arriving back into Australia has been a tiresome affair with sporadic encounters of condiments along the way. The first week and a half was a dip of atrocious flavour where my head floated like flotsam and Elroy Jetson

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1162864991442339932006-11-07T12:31:00.000+10:302006-11-07T12:33:11.460+10:30

I was working on a massive rant, huge I tell you, about IKEA when I realised it was Exams Week.Pitiful though it may be, it is all I can muster.Round 'em up!

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1161055130863964812006-10-17T12:48:00.000+09:302006-10-17T13:02:50.660+09:30

I have no anterior cruciate ligament or ulterior motive for posting these images other than the urge to do so. If you're American, sue me at your earliest convenience and/or leisure. If you're from elsewhere on this spherical plane, love me tenderly for I wilt under pressure.** Why can't we get along?

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1160449945834033842006-10-10T12:39:00.000+09:302006-10-10T12:42:25.856+09:30

I have been inducted again into the Hall of Full-time Workers. Long live compassion for one's fellow man and the freedom to pursue the almighty Australian dollar.How are you doing?

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1158293972038508592006-09-15T13:44:00.000+09:302006-09-15T13:49:32.506+09:30

This post may or may not address the several volumes of long-winded questions left by fellow Wordsmiths, well-wishers and detractors:Resumption to a normal life began fifteen days ago. As you are aware this carries with it some serious baggage by way of responsibility that I had not encountered previous to my existence as a carpenter or baggage handler.The three-quarter acre property where I rest

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1154587099764109982006-08-06T16:52:00.000+09:302006-08-06T11:24:05.226+09:30

*Transmission from somewhere in the southern hemisphere*I'm not online, at least not on any regular basis. There may be a gap of up to six days between now and my next post as my significant other and I brought the plane down in a tropical location where a ton of English is spoken. Henceforthwithetc, the voodoo chile Internet baybeh has been made available for our fingertips to walk on. The catch

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1153372593058072532006-07-20T14:45:00.000+09:302006-07-20T14:46:33.076+09:30

*Transmission from somewhere in the northern hemisphere*I'm going to be offline as of tomorrow. There may be a gap of up to six weeks between now and my next post as my significant other and I prepare for our last week in Japan and our re-entry into Aus, where we'll wine, dine and dive for three weeks in Cairns before returning to our home town; the one, the only...Adelaide. Unless they finally

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1152939396010731662006-07-15T14:30:00.000+09:302006-07-15T14:28:12.270+09:30

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1152767579616956832006-07-14T15:13:00.000+09:302006-07-14T15:25:56.076+09:30

I'm typing this in the heat of the climate as well as the moment. I foresee the need to alter the content that I am about to write for when I'm a fraction calmer.HERE is my main issue with "The Japanese Way": individual members within the Japanese society are not geared to question why something is done, and it defies all manner of logic as I see it. If a person is asked to do something, his /

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1152516213843393762006-07-10T19:55:00.000+09:302006-07-10T19:36:55.406+09:30

I'm on the final bend of my fabulous experience of living and working in Japan. And while occasionally it seems as though I'm hurtling past stationary objects at a rate that James T. Kirk would envy, and probably bum roll forwards to counteract the effects of destabilised inertia in the Nanoo-nanoo Quadrant, the bulk of the past week or four has felt like the complete opposite. It's felt as if

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1152004007502303322006-07-05T09:53:00.000+09:302006-07-05T09:50:03.183+09:30

In a poorly planned attempt to publish something earlier in the day, I mistakenly assumed the internet connection speed of the paasokon at work would be reasonably well equipped to handle and even process information of the electronic kind through its thin blue cable. It wasn't to be, as the ten-minute wait to the inevitable conclusion that the hieroglyphics before my eyes meant that a failure to

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1151489601219074442006-06-28T20:49:00.000+09:302006-06-28T20:54:27.646+09:30

Hey you, the Rock Steady Crew, show 'em what to do, make a break make a move.I'm not claiming to know what has happened to England's all-conquering abilities, so I'll throw a lifeline to someone at CricInfo.com to have a go at explaining it to me, you, and everyone we know: '2.1 (overs): Harmison to Tharanga, 1 wide, this defies belief. Harmison back aiming at first slip and on target.'Okay. So,

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1151304061392137542006-06-26T16:12:00.000+09:302006-06-26T16:18:16.013+09:30

Today marks the thirty-fourth to last time that I wish I were home. How do I know? The cheese calendar opened its tiny fake front door and catapulted a piece of Blue my way. Yummo!Chances are that this feeling of contentment because of the ingestion of tiny portions of edible mould will end on the same day as my desire to leave Japan. It be the first Monday in August. Chances also give a 50-50

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1150879864527788352006-06-21T18:24:00.000+09:302006-06-21T18:22:28.316+09:30

My 100th post will be a quotation because my brain is soggy from second-rate beer and my heart is devoid of commitment on behalf of a more worthwhile effort. Apologies to anyone who had money on a different outcome.'…And in a funny way, the shaving of my head has been a liberation from a lot of stupid vanities, really. It has simplified everything for me. It has opened a lot of doors for me.'

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1150709961203131732006-06-19T19:13:00.000+09:302006-06-19T19:23:17.596+09:30

We had a blockbuster weekend: The shit, which has for the better part of two years somehow attached itself to our joint family name, was firstly sorted into piles of "keep" and "ditch", then shoved with painstaking precision into plastic bags, cardboard boxes and eventually into our spare room or the back of our car; without wishing to sound like a supreme cockhead, we managed to jetison at least

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1150673214780932722006-06-19T08:55:00.000+09:302006-06-19T19:22:44.626+09:30

Five classes on Monday wasn't exactly what I was hoping for. Farewell until beer o'clock.

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1150337341811280952006-06-15T19:17:00.000+09:302006-06-15T18:25:25.043+09:30

Winding up on the jittery side of the ledger wasn't part of my vision. In fact, the thought never crossed my mind. I entered the Nervous Nineties full of beans, carrying a sack with some of the finest thoughts and trivial pursuits known to mankind, and hopeful of declaring the innings closed some time shortly thereafter. Well, perhaps not closed per se, but temporarily unavailable due to the

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1149847272162737952006-06-14T19:27:00.000+09:302006-06-15T17:48:10.303+09:30

I met up with Under The Radar in Nagoya last weekend. I hadn't seen the lad since my significant other and I spent New Year's Eve at his humble abode, while he and his significant other (different to mine) went to Hokkaido to sample the white powder. Methinks they found the ski slopes as well. When we finally managed a few hours in the same apartment, we were reminded of how goode Ye Olde Days

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1149730412683515812006-06-08T11:11:00.000+09:302006-06-08T11:20:14.763+09:30

It's a rush with psychedelic overtones to awaken from a thoroughly arousing dream one minute and leave for work ten minutes later. The experience can amplify the thrill factor of the visual and sonic dimensions with liberal doses of precipitation on the tarmac, an empty gut with a craving for caffeine, a radio station with a Japanese announcer, whose preference for the shrill of his own voice to

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1149638406517253532006-06-07T10:16:00.000+09:302006-06-07T09:34:18.656+09:30

I was sitting behind the wheel of the almighty Mira when an old guy on a bike was crossing at the lights. He looked my way, stopped and gestured hello. I wasn't sure of the circumstances leading up to the act itself, but I had been in the country long enough to know the extent of Japanese people's politeness. I waved hello back. The old guy's performance became more animated, but I knew that

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1149499472967064482006-06-05T20:22:00.000+09:302006-06-05T20:22:48.220+09:30

The first of hopefully many miniaturised Great Andinis will be joining the original twosome come Christmas. The super dooper news about this aspect of having a new addition to the family is we'll most likely be afforded the luxury of combining birthday presents and compulsory presents along the traditional red, black and white themed nature. The downside is...Well...Nah, it's all pretty bloody

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1149128676369188672006-06-01T17:31:00.000+09:302006-06-05T09:15:13.770+09:30

'It was on the day of my twenty-first birthday that dad introduced me to The Tony Clifton Experience. I remember being really anxious then, although I'm unsure now exactly why that was. Mum was infatuated with alternative cooking ingredients and techniques. She was slightly koo-koo, if you know the meaning of koo-koo. She used beetroots, ornamental cabbages and lotus roots in everything we ate. I

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1149046316448459682006-05-31T16:29:00.000+09:302006-05-31T16:16:22.173+09:30

'I have nothing to be nervous about. Blow it up your arse and fan it for even suggesting it.'- Andy Kaufman to a throng of reporters, while seated with his pants adrift of his waist and visibly shaken from the auspicious realisation that he had entered the Nervous Nineties.

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1148863586515258002006-05-29T22:12:00.000+09:302006-05-29T22:18:22.726+09:30

THE EVACUATION CHAMBER'Morning, Sam.''Morning, Ralph.''How be the weekend?''Oh, the weekend be filled with boredom. You?''Pretty good, pretty good.''How so?''Check this: The wife says to me, "There's a new reiki healer in town. I volunteered our services. Let's go".''What's a reiki healer then?''Someone who heals damaged cells in the human body through the use of energy.''Nuclear?''Nah, nah, nah.

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1148467203724324992006-05-26T17:08:00.000+09:302006-05-26T16:54:32.293+09:30

The degeneration of wood over the course of ninety fatal blows using naturally supplied products: A visual narration through a lunch hour by Andy Kaufman. All rights reserved. Next week: How to dock lambs' tails using only your thumb and pinky.Technorati tags: Andy Kaufman, baseball, 90 hits, rocks, boredom, pointless, Australian, overseas, Japan, internet junkie, iz what I am, American Idol,

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1148302204281657402006-05-22T22:20:00.000+09:302006-05-22T22:20:04.303+09:30

I think Technorati tags do fuck-all to generate traffic. At least not to this blog. WTF and all that? I think Blog Explosion (check out the retarded link I made with my name plastered all over it as though it were a showdown with those chumps down the right column) does slightly less for the same cause. I guess that explains the photo I dug up while sifting through the myriad of snaps I've taken

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1148256308183523942006-05-22T09:34:00.000+09:302006-05-22T09:35:08.213+09:30

The nation received its first dose of solar radiation over the course of the weekend following a liberal sprinkling of H2O over the course of two solid weeks. Instead of being at a beach frying ourselves to the texture of onion rings, twenty of us had made the commitment to entertain 125 rampaging souls under the age of twelve in what turned out to be the sunniest weekend this year. It came as

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1148003177121152822006-05-19T11:13:00.000+09:302006-05-19T11:16:17.146+09:30

Seventy-three days until departure. I've been keeping track, you know?Technorati tags: Andy Kaufman, going home, 73, countdown, boredom, pointless, Australian, overseas, Japan, internet junkie, iz what I am, American Idol, update, television, nothing to say, Something Changed

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1147941909337245422006-05-18T18:11:00.000+09:302006-05-18T18:15:09.356+09:30

Snaps from our week in Tokyo.Technorati tags: Andy Kaufman, photographs, photography, Frank Black, Tokyo, Golden Week, Australian, overseas, Japan, internet junkie, iz what I am, collage, Simon Cowell, television, American Idol, Sony

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1147692058609951282006-05-16T17:30:00.000+09:302006-05-16T16:26:04.613+09:30

File under: Things About Japan You're Skipping Over One-toothed Beggars in Last Year's Gucci Line to Know About.I went into the Driver's Licence Centre (a.k.a. DMV a.k.a. Big Building Full of Men With Tiny Penises Having Their Importance Elevated Unnecessarily) today following a perfectly executed evacuation from work at precisely the seventh stroke of twelve midday. Why would I be there at

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1147390867782157252006-05-12T09:06:00.000+09:302006-05-12T18:39:10.826+09:30

You're so conceited, Claire.Technorati tags: Andy Kaufman, The Breakfast Club, quotation, John Bender, Judd Nelson, '80s films, Australian, overseas, Japan, internet junkie, iz what I am, Anthony Michael Hall, movies, timeless, John Hughes, legend

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1147249953392225192006-05-11T18:02:00.000+09:302006-05-12T09:06:46.696+09:30

This post contains preposterous claims, slanderous intent with remarkably effective follow through and surreptitious acts of a one-handed nature. Proceed with your hand firmly clasping someone dafter than you. It's too late; I've already chosen Paula Abdul. Have you seen the list?It's about time I got political on yo asses, by stating categorically that it's about camel humping time that this

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1147086379127905842006-05-08T21:09:00.000+09:302006-05-08T20:43:36.410+09:30

...And I quote: 'Please find attached a copy of your import approval. The original approval is currently held at this office. To enable this office to send your approval to you please send in writing your Australian address to fax [imagine the next few bits are actual numbers] xx xxxx xxxx or email [identical principle to before, substituting numbers for letters] xxxxxxxx@dotars.gov.au.'The Big

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1146443235641454082006-05-01T13:30:00.000+09:302006-05-01T13:04:32.926+09:30

I'm going to be kicking back for a week or so in lil ole Tokyo. In my absence, I entrust the following imperatives in your care: behave, obey orders, believe the mass media, never question your leaders and pick up after yourself following a good and proper riot as the poor bastards who'll be there after you're long gone only get a few bucks per hour.I'll be back in the swing of things come the

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1145917724898831542006-04-26T09:07:00.000+09:302006-04-27T17:32:52.520+09:30

One man's recollection of a day from a couple of years ago as he and his work chums dragged their bums up a great big chunk of rock. May contain traces of expletives.THE INTRO:At the time, it was a day like any other: My presence had been demanded at work. I obliged by dressing casually in a long-sleeved number lacking colour and held together as a fashionable ensemble with a tie I had picked up

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1145613141852641112006-04-22T15:54:00.000+09:302006-04-22T14:57:30.396+09:30

'Bro, have you seen the schmeecky-deeky byatchme piPod?' P-Ditty Batgunk asked as his malnourished legs danced as though rehearsing for his sphincter muscle to loosen enough to devour the entire atomic bomb he had been eyeing off next to the three-door low rider with rear air wing.'The latest flegmjismic what?' came the baffled reply from his best friend, T-minus Rex Jnr.'The latest bumrushing

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1145270258034464702006-04-18T18:13:00.000+09:302006-04-18T19:08:11.736+09:30

Today is Andy Kaufman Day. We hope you enjoy the show. More words may arrive at a time later than now. However, if the throbbing of mine temples persists this could be the only gift you receive from me today.Remember: Andy Kaufman Day.UPDATE (6:13 pm central Japanese time zone): I'd like to change the official title for the day from Andy Kaufman Day to Andy Kaufman and Jason Gillespie Day to

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1144921162865581262006-04-13T19:16:00.000+09:302006-04-13T19:11:39.700+09:30

Grace, save your money for the children.Technorati tags: Andy Kaufman, first day back, Thursdayitis, lyrics, Supergrass, Australian, overseas, UK bands, internet junkie, iz what I am, Grace, popular, music cult, influential

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1144660272350767142006-04-10T21:33:00.000+09:302006-04-10T21:12:29.050+09:30

Bangladesh 427. Australia 50/3 (14.4 ov) Australia RR 3.40 at Tea.Australia trail by 377 runs with 7 wickets remaining in the 1st innings.Yeah, look, I know that I've nothing to contribute to the final outcome of this particular experiment, seeing as I'm weighed down by naturally acquired fondness for cheese, a sense of shaping my pectoralis major muscles that's geared in the negative and an

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1144634176386474472006-04-10T12:49:00.000+09:302006-04-10T12:10:03.246+09:30

Thank you all for attending. Please be seated. Judging by the number of you in attendance, my press secretary deserves a sizeable boot inserted, retracted and inserted and retracted into his sizeable posterior a few dozen more times immediately following the first insertion and retraction. That notwithstanding, I welcome those of you who were coerced into being here by someone obviously smarter

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1144314070558410182006-04-07T19:07:00.000+09:302006-04-07T18:53:05.953+09:30

For whatever reason, the subliminal part of my conscience envied this guy and his bottle of whisky as we hopped aboard the train. Where else would you expect to drink from your bottle on a mode of public transportation other than Japan? Dunno, but as soon as I'm back in Australia...Our main reason for travel last weekend was to view these gorgeous and precious Japanese commodities: cherry

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1144316772594091242006-04-06T19:38:00.000+09:302006-04-06T19:20:03.790+09:30

I didn't get a chance today to upload photos and accompanying text about last weekend's adventure to the Izu peninsula.You should interpret this to mean that I couldn't be arsed, although you can imagine, if you wish, that I made a valiant effort to fulfil the request by four of you who were capably coerced via the comments thread of the previous post into making a request which I could not

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1147257679899912552006-04-05T17:10:00.000+09:302006-05-10T20:17:35.453+09:30

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1144218459120323732006-04-05T16:43:00.000+09:302006-04-05T16:13:17.403+09:30

So, some of you may have guessed that I've been disengaged from work commitments over the past couple of weeks. A brilliant idea, leading to a simple question from me to my immediate superior, ensured I'd be gazing at the ceiling of my six tatami mat bedroom well beyond my usual early starts while my services at work weren't required.As such, I have been the junkie everybody loves to hate; I've

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1143606294147308842006-04-03T10:53:00.000+09:302006-04-03T21:22:32.103+09:30

I've stated at various stages of my psychological decline, which is why a reiteration is on its way; I believe twelve weeks from the time of one's holiday completion to be the point at which the human brain instinctively switches from the myriad of perfunctory functions to those likened to a serial killer with a blockbuster necessity to quell the unspoken fix.Just one fix.My twelve weeks expired

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1143531441165037402006-03-28T18:03:00.000+10:302006-03-28T18:07:21.186+10:30

I've recently made it back into the two-bedroomed dungeon following a successful mission of displacing myself geographically. There's loads more to reveal about that but I'm in two minds whether or not to make it a pay-per-view post.More to come on which way the cookie crumbled at some stage later than now.Technorati tags: Andy Kaufman, back, an update, spring vacation, boredom, Australian,

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1143104642847238962006-03-23T19:55:00.000+10:302006-03-23T19:46:40.946+10:30

I was invited to a function today. Nobody asked me to stand before the congregation, bow or to speak my mind of how poor I think the state of recent affairs has been. So I didn't. It wasn't that I was offended by the non-gesture. Oh, fuck no! Far from it. I was relieved. You see, I find it beyond reproach and arrogant to the extreme, like a Coca-Cola advertisement narrated by Sam Kinison, that

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1142928832632944022006-03-21T18:55:00.000+10:302006-03-21T18:45:32.800+10:30

This post should in no way be construed as an update on the life and/or times of Andy Kaufman. Why? I'm glad you didn't ask. The simplified reason, pertaining to the question you didn't ask, is because randomly sprayed thoughts masquerading as incoherent babble does not a post make.Make of that what you will. I prefer a clay statue of an ogre sporting a placebo doughnut in a rhetorical martial

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1142655851539748482006-03-18T14:55:00.000+10:302006-03-18T15:25:27.253+10:30

Umm... I'm not quite (read: at all) sure what happened with the site yesterday. But it seems to be unperturbed in accepting my keystrokes today, which is to say, by way of dumbfounded observation, my site is back up without me really knowing how or why it went off air yesterday.Suffice to say, these glitches seem to be happening regularly, although the latest one isn't anywhere as potent as the

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1142404876005437472006-03-16T14:44:00.000+10:302006-03-16T18:39:17.646+10:30

Things I've not (yet) invented due to lack of funding and desire:* A parrot-shaped robot capable of underwater retrieval.* Self-regenerating hazelnut flavoured ice-cream in a Vegemite jar (1L).* Running shoes with voice recognition.* Full-strength beer with slimming properties.* A talking computer which dishes out insults as the voice of Arthur C. Clarke whenever required to perform a task.* Teri

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1142316809062772752006-03-15T15:11:00.000+10:302006-03-15T17:12:09.323+10:30

Since I'm no longer armed with a personal assistant, here's a brief rundown of what transpired yesterday. As confusing as this may sound, the geese did retreat after much staring.I: You're watching Good Morning, Heather. My name is Andy Kaufman. And now it's time for the weather forecast. Good Morning, Hank. How's the weather likely to treat us today?Hank: Well, Andy, it's a testicle solidifying

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1142239596400868512006-03-13T23:11:00.000+10:302006-03-15T10:30:32.836+10:30

When global freeloaders turn nasty:" quote: tzilly : Because the film is russian it is logical that it's russian dubbed. So that for you being the idiot. If you don't speak russian, you should start fucking learning russian and not waste our time complaining here. Or you can wait for subtitles. I hate you stupid fuckers who don't speak any other language than their own (I guess english in your

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1142228282597160872006-03-13T18:56:00.000+10:302006-03-13T19:23:32.626+10:30

I had the best weekend you could ever imagine. In fact, I'd like to know how good a weekend you think I had.Phone now! 1 - 800 - whatkinda - weekend - did - andy - have. Don't look for the question mark on your phone as there isn't one.*Phone now!Alternatively, this interactive concept is now available with the comment now feature (see below) at no additional cost to the original cost.* No

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1142060283548322832006-03-11T17:34:00.000+10:302006-03-11T17:28:03.566+10:30

I just want to make it clear to everyone that I'm not joining any more cults this year. It's a decision based on gut instinct and goes against every fibre of my predetermined genetic makeup, but I'm left with no option but to officially pull my name from the Join a Cult ballot box and state categorically as the record of time is my witness: I am not joining another cult this year.As a fellow

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1141892979935906672006-03-09T19:00:00.000+10:302006-03-09T19:26:51.966+10:30

It was a slow day in the land of the creative thought. That's what I'm telling myself. However, during times of slow neuron activity I find it a relief to seek a worthy replacement, one I shall call sport. You see, sport presents itself as a viable alternative to anything that could be construed as freedom of thought. Freedom from thought it truly is.I placed my order pre game time: two grand

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1141640554162947072006-03-08T20:33:00.000+10:302006-03-10T10:16:33.913+10:30

I sense vibes.It's not something I admit readily, but I do. As yet, t-shirts to remind others of this characteristic o' mine are lacking in actual existence, but I have sketches in my mind and they look, for want of a better word, snazzy.True story: Recently, perhaps as early as last week for all you know, I felt vibes whose magnitude shifted tectonic plates, causing brief but significant

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1141724280025133252006-03-07T20:15:00.000+10:302006-03-10T10:17:41.160+10:30

I'm thinking about posting a few things. It's one of those 50-50 propositions born while one's back is turned and without official approval in stacks of blinding A4 reams of delicately moistened paper by a representative of the Catholic church. If you read between the lines there you'll duly note the reference to something happening often; very, without exaggeration, fucking often; no pun

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1141639593515369872006-03-06T21:11:00.000+10:302006-03-10T10:18:55.660+10:30

Technorati tags: Andy Kaufman, photos, birds, asylum, ducks, Australian, overseas, action shots, water birds, super fuckin impressive zoom, booyah

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1141360190534304432006-03-03T15:33:00.000+10:302006-03-10T10:19:58.563+10:30

Yesterday, as I was riling from another dose of being screwed over by Viktor, my Polish room mate sharing the room and, without my approval, my bed in this God-forsaken asylum, I accidentally offended MC Hammer. I say accidentally because it most certainly was accidental, even by my barnstorming standards. What's more, it was the actual MC Hammer, and not just some guy pretending to be the real,

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1140737456565342902006-03-02T10:34:00.000+10:302006-03-10T10:21:10.290+10:30

[Foreword by the author: This story appeared on this very blog about a week ago. Maybe it was more like five days ago. If you've read it, I have an unopened can of Mexican Beans just for you. If you haven't, please roll the dice one more time. The clue to understanding where to go next lies at the end of this post. Good luck. And remember: There are plenty of chocolate eggs for everybody. Change

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1141020671225983372006-02-27T22:13:00.000+10:302006-03-10T10:24:42.900+10:30

The number of people that I can truly label my heroes; people who've stood out in this prime-time, fast food inflicted, vomitous popularity contest of existence, can be counted on one of my naturally acquired hands.If I were to choose a digit to symbolise the person with more influence on my life than any other, I'd choose my thumb. And as my thumb dramatically perked towards the ceiling I'd

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1140686229400841742006-02-23T19:51:00.000+10:302006-02-23T19:49:25.553+10:30

Technorati tags: Andy Kaufman, photos, night shots, experimental, shutter speed, Australian, overseas, exposure, light dancing

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1139975033587067632006-02-23T14:28:00.000+10:302006-02-24T09:54:46.743+10:30

Here's another feature about where I live.Payday is a once-a-month affair; across the board for everyone with a pulse. I believe for many people it's the 15th of each month, unless the date falls on a weekend, in which case it's brought forward to the preceding Friday or not spoken about until the ensuing Monday; depending on your employer.For me, a person accustomed to weekly deposits into his

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1140414513849464472006-02-21T19:15:00.000+10:302006-02-23T12:15:38.360+10:30

File under: FYISince the time I dyed my hair blonde, which coincided with the last time I had hair, I've been into discoveries. *insert applause* As such, and through poorly publicised events leading to my termination as a music journalist (no resurrection was forthcoming because the art of writing about famous people wasn't worth the toilet paper used to wipe one's delicate parts with; not that

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1140474514927707142006-02-21T10:57:00.000+10:302006-02-21T11:07:16.060+10:30

In an attempt to extend the life expectancy of my teeth, I'm slowly waning myself off of that ungodly white substance, sugar. The idea came to me in a dream involving sublime acts of nudity, though there's no correlation between the skin and the sweet stuff.My Say Not-right-now To Sugar campaign was officially set into motion by a recent visit to the dentist down the road (the most convenient way

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1140424677357064772006-02-20T19:00:00.000+10:302006-02-21T08:19:06.316+10:30

To UTMG and the anonymous wraiths dancing on my ceiling:The way I feel at the moment, if every band in the world decided on sending a representative to ask me to join their band for a one-off gig to show off my limited range of didgeridoo playing abilities in underwear guaranteed to get me arrested, while simultaneously raising awareness of the global theme of futility as the one and only

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1140156541850110222006-02-17T20:23:00.000+10:302006-02-17T20:27:36.863+10:30

The short man was seated on the couch of the important man's office. A smile was starting its journey from the centre of its creation to the outer edges of his face. Today, the short man was displaying the posture of a very important man.The short man was more important than the important man but he couldn't be an important man just like the important man because there existed already an

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1139876627496059532006-02-14T20:05:00.000+10:302006-02-15T14:03:23.216+10:30

In this country of spiralling oddities, women shower men with gifts of chocolate composition today.Revised: I came home this afternoon to see flowers, a bottle of white wine, a note and dessert waiting for me in the fridge. Cheque please!Technorati tags: Kaufman, tradition, Valentine's Day, flowers, wine, winter, Australian, overseas, chocolate, women, men, oddity, sizzling sheets

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1139788926764226742006-02-13T10:33:00.000+10:302006-02-13T10:33:08.876+10:30

To the woman who means more to me than anything in this world, my wife, I would like to say happy 109 months anniversary.You are the meaning in my life and I'll continue to love you more than I'll ever be able to express in words or actions.

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1139707047501677712006-02-12T12:37:00.000+10:302006-02-12T11:48:09.516+10:30

Technorati tags: Kaufman, photos, trees, silhouette, b&w, winter, Australian, overseas, sky, wanker, sign, reflection, ice

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1139553398217999772006-02-10T16:58:00.000+10:302006-02-10T17:29:22.036+10:30

Dear Diary,Today marks a black day on the calendar of truth for two loosely connected reasons. Firstly, the pack of Hawaiian hazelnut flavoured coffee, which was so kindly brought back from the States and handled with velvet gloves by Mrs Kaufman's boss, is no longer unleashing into our humble abode its exquisite aroma and superior taste. Returning to a sack of endemic coffee granules this

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1139275562394343462006-02-08T08:44:00.000+10:302006-02-10T08:47:01.016+10:30

WARNING: May contain traces of Jaa. If you want to get to the crux of this post, scroll down to "Why We're All Here," otherwise...The Intro:It is my contention that western society is a miracle within the not-so-miraculous evolutionary process of mankind. Am I alone in thinking this? It's unlikely as I've had to hire two additional secretaries to handle the vast loads of comments streaming into

Kaufmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15352263619874617123noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19619194.post-1139264538947650112006-02-07T09:52:00.000+10:302006-02-07T08:58:41.403+10:30

Technorati tags: Kaufman, photos, sepia, sky, neighborhood, winter, Australian, overseas, urban, driving, country, corrugation

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"Look, Dad! I wrote a story!" - Andy Kaufman (February 2nd, 2006). The world was an amazing place back in 2010. I was 1.2 metres taller and owned more llamas than I knew what to do with. But 2010 won't be remembered by the world for my overwhelming height and crafty woolen creations. It'll be remembered for...It was billed as 'The Revolution of TV Participation' by free-to-air television.

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