# 112
I was working on a massive rant, huge I tell you, about IKEA when I realised it was Exams Week.
Pitiful though it may be, it is all I can muster.
Round 'em up!
November 07, 2006
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Winner of 'The Schmoozer Award' for 2007... Chronicling one man's journey through fatherhood, self-diagnosed dementia, the effects of lethargy brought on by insomnia, and the ongoing struggle with follicular displacement therapy; the other day I woke up with a fellow scribe's dentures on my nose.
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8 comments:
..head 'em in, Rawhide!!!!
IKEA dominates the skyline as you weave into Bristol along the M32.
Their labyrinthine, puzzle box premises makes me allergic to pine after spending any more than 10 mintues in there.
Yet it is near impossible to escape.
The horror. The horror. The horror.
Best be careful how you navigate their 'labyrinthine puzzle box' stores, Ultra, lest you find yourself in some sort of Clive Barkerish Hellraiser situation.
Perhaps that's what those pins are for...
The worst part is the 12p hotdogs that greet you as you do make it out, a chilling reminder of where you would have finished if you hadn't eventually got out.
Never been to IKEA, so your rant would have been most informative, and perhaps a sisterpiece to mine about Walmart. Sunk cost my friend.
I blew up a branch of Ikea once.
I bought a flat-pack holodeck last month, but some of the pieces were missing. They wouldn't give me a refund.
The rest is history
Toast: Over here, it dominates the skyline as one drives toward the airport. I get the feeling that the rant requires further preparation and/or scrutiny and/or additional W(ords)MD before it is fit for global consideration.
PS Good to see you were onto the Rawhide reference.
Mob: Pinhead is a creation with timeless qualities. Growing up in the working class suburbs of our fair state, I had many a night where I dreamt I was Pinhead. Needless to say, the fear of walking head-first into walls was at its peak back then (although not so bad now, now that I'm cleanly shaven in the cranial department an sans imaginary pins).
UTR: $1 each over here; I bought two and spent the remainder of the day reminding my students of why open windows were essential to life, Jim, but not as we know it.
PS The 'dogs could have been made from Clive Barker's own recipe.
BB: Rest assured I'll make every effort to add a bit of spit and Polish sausage before slam dunking it online for your perusal. The way I figure, if my effort benefits another living soul, then I must go forth. Sunkist, my friend.
CB: The coordinates of the Adelaide store have been sent to your inbox. Fire at the giant 'i'.
grrrreat! what do you think of death cab for cutie?
IKEA? do tell, I'm curious now!
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