March 11, 2006

# 60

I just want to make it clear to everyone that I'm not joining any more cults this year. It's a decision based on gut instinct and goes against every fibre of my predetermined genetic makeup, but I'm left with no option but to officially pull my name from the Join a Cult ballot box and state categorically as the record of time is my witness: I am not joining another cult this year.

As a fellow believer in matters relating to personal interaction says: Deal with it!


Old Man Morri said...

Sorry to hear your not commited enough to join. Thats ok, not everyone is cut out for joining our psuedo-religious organisation, i should know, it's a hard cult to run. People like you are really hard to break. Oh well, i'll recruit elsewhere...


benjibopper said...

cults are a tough gig. i'm having a tough time with the one at nasty cult. if only i knew how to spam.

Kaufman said...

OMM: "People like you." Is this a stab at people with shaved heads? I told you, if there are no bells and streamers to apply to our bodies then I'm not interested. Show me proof of bells and streamers and I'll reconsider.

BB: I'm going to check that link out as soon as I have a spare moment. I'm off to check out some accessories for my camera. And to see whether the supermarket has any bells and streamers... Just in case, you know?

benjibopper said...

just got cat grass at my local supermarket, didn't see any streamers. lots of foam noodles for the swimming pool though.

Ms Smack said...

Could the blogging community be considered a cult of sorts? Perhaps with the untouchable, unreachable and allmighty blogger/google being the cult leader?

avoid cults unless they have compulsory timtams and beer, oh and 69's everynight.

If you find a cult like that, please contact me asap.


Old Man Morri said...

Morrism now has 100 percent more bells, streamers, beer and fucking tim tams. Go have a look. you little dorks better join now. im sick of your "standing up to the cult guy" routine. this is bullshit, give yourselves over to me now. That goes for all you other fuckers too.

up yours, you too honeycrack.

Kaufman said...

BB: I love the smell of foam noodles in the morning.

Honeysmack: I'd argue on the for side of the blogging community being a cult. In fact, I'd argue that multiple cults exist within the main cult of the blogosphere. I don't know if cults are supposed to work that way, traditionally, but hopefully the break-away cults are a sign of what's to come regarding the world of cults, which, for mine, has sadly lacked the oomph of years gone by.

Speaking of which, one of the best cults I ever saw was at Thebby Theatre (a.k.a. The Barton Theatre) in 1887. A band called The Cult played there to a packed audience of farmers, shepherds, cow rustlers, sheep pokers, kangaroo nudgers, sodomisers (with no preference for species or gender) and head nodders. It was very much a cult thing, so much so that I'd venture it was very much The Cult thing. Good, good.

OMM: You ranting is beginning to affect me in a most splendid way. I think the baby steps you took have become giant strides, as though you were walking without supply of oxygen on the moon. Old Man Morri, I ask thee: Are you the Man on the Moon?

Ultra Toast Mosha God said...

You are already a cult member.

We all are.

That's why we come to this place everyday to worship.

Kaufman said...

Totally agree.

Sad, really.

Ultra Toast Mosha God said...