April 05, 2006

# 71

So, some of you may have guessed that I've been disengaged from work commitments over the past couple of weeks. A brilliant idea, leading to a simple question from me to my immediate superior, ensured I'd be gazing at the ceiling of my six tatami mat bedroom well beyond my usual early starts while my services at work weren't required.

As such, I have been the junkie everybody loves to hate; I've been spreading my disdain for global communication of the anonymous kind by keeping my brain focused on matters not directly relating to the internet. Indeed, I've been living the life of an unemployed twat basking in the glory of his welfare cheque, with the notable exception that my welfare cheque has been that of a person with a decent income; my regular one.

Everybody now: I shot the system, but I did not shoot myself in the foot.

You've got to give reggae a tip of the hat, ain't cha?

The past two weekends, in particular, have been splendid affairs of exploration as my wife and I have made last ditch efforts to see some sights we've yet to ogle in the flesh, knowing that the opportunities of travelling on the plush coattails of the Yen were dwindling with the arrival of each dawn.

We've accomplished plenty and relished our time as adventure bound freaks.

We checked out the Izu peninsula last weekend. It was like being in a tropical vortex with loads of Japanese tourists covering the landscape; the main difference being that the Japanese tourists covering the landscape were dressed in wetsuits instead of suits and had surfboards tucked under their arms instead of briefcases.

Like most good things, my time at home which I so successfully gambled to acquire is drawing to a close. Boo, hiss and all that. Thoughts have again turned to ways of giving mother time a helping hand in passing without coronary failure or a brain embolism prio to my 35th birthday. Meanwhile, getting reacquainted with boredom is inevitable as I struggle to adjust the psychological imbalance to focus one more bleeding time on work related affairs.

Which brings me to the line I've desperately been practicing this week while my wife's been at work. Wanna hear it? You can't, but you can read it: Hi. My name is Andy Kaufman and I'm an internet junkie.

What do you think? Will you be kind enough to invite me back into the sacred circle?

P.S. There may or may not be photos of last weekend depending on the demand.


Ultra Toast Mosha God said...

Tell this 'Demand' fella that the pictures had better show, or i'll be having words with 'supply'; his odious twin brother.

Internet Junkie would be my middle name if I could be bothered to change it.

err. yes!

Jen said...

But if I invite you back in, that would mean I am affirming that I am an internet junkie.

And I like to believe I am nothing of the sort.

I just "happen" to be here on the net because my computer "happened" to be on.

benjibopper said...

yeah, my 2 computers happen to be on most of the time, i'm really not addicted at all, really.

Andy said...

Is throwing a hissy fit a form of "demand"?

Kaufman said...

All: Fine. I've travelled each and every byway. I'll let you have it your way.