May 12, 2006

# 83

You're so conceited, Claire.


Ultra Toast Mosha God said...

Judd Nelson is harsh.

Kaufman said...

Judd Nelson went downhill after that role.

Did you see Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back?

Enough said.

benjibopper said...

really, he was in that?!

Kaufman said...

He played the part of the sheriff; when J and SB, the happy gay couple, were enjoying a meal in the diner with their "boy."

reverendtimothy said...

I am teh lost.

zzymurgy said...

Hey Andy,

Can you try a bottle of Japanese Thorpedo for us and tell us what it's like?

It sounds even better than Calpis.

Kaufman said...

Hey there Zzymurgy. I saw V for Vendetta last night (good shit, actually), so I ask unto thee: May I call you Z? BTW, I like yer site, brother (hence the link et al).

The first link you provided caused me to run arse-first into a brick wall. I minused the ".au" portion of the equation and landed in USville. I think I'm now in the same synapse stadium as Ian Thorpe and his range of "foods."

Mate, Thorpey is bloody huge over hyar. Whenever I wave the Aussie flag out in public, a crowd often congregates within seconds, like moths to an egg half lit from the underside by a 1000 watt bulb; a few of them whisper 'Eyan Sorpe' to one another, which often brings a tear to the eye and an upchuck of supersized proportions from yours truly.

I must say, as I'm contractually obliged, that I haven't spotted the Thorpedo's superior range of liquid delights in the big J. Two reasons I shall state as being infinitely true to why this hasn't occured are: 1) I live in the sticks. If the Coca-Cola Company doesn't manufacture it, I'm 99% certain it won't pass my eyes, ears or mouth; 2) I'm too busy rubbing a plastic bottle of Calpis goodness on my groins.

Sugar-water, such as the trademarked Alligatorade, is viewed as a remedy in these parts. I came down with the 'flu last winter and a local reiki healer brought 4 litres of Calpis to my doorstep to aid with the microcosmos that had brought me to my knees.

Luckily for all concerned there was plenty of sake to wash the stuff down with.

Hot grog is the answer to everything; there's nothing finer.

Ultra Toast Mosha God said...

He was also in 'New Jack Hustler' featuring Ice-T and Wesley Snipes.

He didn't do much.

What went wrong?

How did he end up in that terrible sitcom about lingerie featuring Brooke Shields?

Kaufman said...

I'll be the first to congratulate you for mentioning that unmentionable sitcom, Ultra Toast, as I wasn't game, set nor a match hoping for a gust to extinguish my career.

New Jack City? Must admit, I don't remember him in that, as Nick Peretti, though I do recall the movie quite well.

And to think that I wanted to be just like Bender once oop on a thyme. Ah, hair; the false hopes it springs.

Ultra Toast Mosha God said...

I stand corrected (said the man with the orthopaedic shoe).

I remember one particular scene in which he shoots a smiley face into Ice-T's wall.

It's better than wanting to be Estevez's character.

Kaufman said...

Are you saying there's something wrong with wanting to be an athlete with homophobic tendencies stemming from his highly developed masculine relationship with his father?

Imagine tearing that tape off that guy's arse! I couldn't live with myself.

benjibopper said...

I couldn't live with myself if I appeared in Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back.