April 30, 2007

#129 aka The grindstone and the downpour

It's back to the grind today with a pike and two-and-a-half twists thrown in to ensure my professional development... how ought one put it?... develops into a picturesque landscape of academic awe.*

The weekend recently passed was fabulous: it rained non-stop on Saturday which enabled the wife, baby and I the time we so desperately needed to remain in our jammies until the late pm; I stayed up until 4:39am watching the first innings of the cricket World Cup final where Adam Gilchrist and Co. entertained my weary eyes. It reminded me of the battle David had with Goliath although there were more sixes and fewer sligshots armed with rocks in this demolition; we drove around the hills on Sunday and gasped with the precision of timing associated with a metronome at the resplendid colours of the autumnal leaves.

But it's Monday (again). The new course I'm teaching is the type that involves serious dedication to pre-reading. This bugs me no-end as I prefer my academic preparation to arrive in the form of a hundred-and-twenty-minute blockbuster extravaganza in celluloid (see Pearl Harbor et al).

Not to worry as it is but Week Two and the students are still pondering the significance of the tongue sharpening device at the back of the room.


* Re-read this statement and if you're still debating its sense then join the Much Ado About What Exactly Club. It's free but today only.


Ultra Toast Mosha God said...

Pearl harbour? Argh!!

I think this is what the teaching profession is missing - hollywood blockbusters about pythagoras' theorum and past participles.

I see a film with Seagal in glasses pretending to be a professor.

Kaufman said...

Now you're talking my language. At least then the students would have a valid reason to stay at the pub/seek comfort in the heaving busom of a stranger. I know I would.

I reckon Professor Seagal Meets The Feebles would be all right though, especially if taught as a cross cultural lesson involving the sampling of a locally grown 'herb'. In fact, that would be a killer few hours/day/term!

I'd watch any movie about Pythagoras's theorum (Pythagoras II: Khan's Revenge?) if Kate Beckinsale agreed to be a part of it. Imagine the insatiable moves I'd be compelled to 'teach' as a follow-up lesson if KB dangled a past participle in an extended love scene.

'Mr Kaufman, I've often wondered about the significantly larger - almost gigantic by comparison - right arm you have. Has this happened through a birth defect or prolonged exposure to radiation?'

'Let me show you how it's done.'

I press play and dim the lights.

Mmmm... My Beckinsalivary gland is excreting copiously.

geoff said...

Coming soon to a cinema near you the action packed blockbuster, "GO FLY A KITE II" The Sequel to "HOW FLAT IS MY PLANET"
Starring Sylvester Stallone as the struggling genius ridiculed for his theory on electricity. Opposed by his arch nemisis played Russell Crowe whose articulate verbosity interjecting with eloquence whenever he can, turning Stallone's character into a mumbling stuttering figure of scorn and derision.
Until the day when he puts his theory into practice and the genius is transformed by the lightning bolt into a super human debater and orater.
Culminating in a 20 round showdown for the crown at the Nobel Prize awards. A bruising jaw shattering fight for the truth against outdated reasoning.

With a strong supporting cast;
Sharon Stone's G string as the geniuses wife,
Johnny Depp as his Left Shoe
Jeffrey Rush as the Right Shoe
The uplifting support of Samuel L Jackson as THE KITE.

Ultra Toast Mosha God said...

How about "Pythagoras III: Revenge of Isosceles"

Seagal stars as Professor Chad Book and Beckinsale features as Emma Scalene.

They pair up to fight off the evil Doctor Rectangle - an essentially evil man who hates all triangles and refutes their relevance within the framework of modern society.

Deep down, Rectangle is still scarred from the memory of his wife being killed after falling out of a window - a window that was an equilateral triangle in shape. That's the twist/money shot.

Get on the phone to Michael Bay

Mob said...

You had me at Kate Beckinsale...sigh.

I've 'tagged' you over at the blog, if you'd care to participate in our reindeer games, BTW.