December 17, 2005

# 14




It's a bad idea to mix sixteen 500 ml cans of beer, a block of Gorgonzola cheese and a knife; unless the knife can bypass tomorrow on its way to yesterday.

I make no apologies to anyone who thought it wasn't a bad idea and recommend a liberal dose of ecstacy and surgery.

11 comments:

Saathiya said...

Good to know. You know what else is a bad combination? Hakima pants, 3 vodkas, a teddy bear named Rusty and a game of strip go fish. Use your imagination.

Kaufman said...

In my version of events, young Ted is fitted with web cams in each eye. Is that how it went or is that damned imagination firing blanks again?

Saathiya said...

Uncanny.

Chloe said...

You can safely combine up to fifteen cans of beer with cheese and a knife. You were sooo close.

Aminah said...

Andy K: My mother always used to say to me "moderation is the key to any successful surgery". If you had consumed 25 beers at 375 ml each, not only would you have had (a miniscule amount) LESS alcohol in your system, but the cheese would undoubtedly have been more impressed by your alcoholic endeavours (25 being a larger number than 16), unless it was a mathematics professor...

Saathi: Ah yes... Friday night. We have to dress up like the crazy Japapanese more often. Otherwise, I'd never wear that Yukata. Rusty will NOT be invited though.

Kaufman said...

S: I often dream about dinner parties concluding in similar fashion, with dessert the obvious highlight.

C: I take pride in challenging conventional standards, provided the journey is saturated with excitement. I'll live to navigate my way through fromage another day, for which I'm truly grateful. For the record, there were bite marks aplenty from the eleventh beer; I think.

A: Five-eighths of the time someone quotes statistics to me, I retain eleven-hundredths of the statistics quoted. More often than not, I don't.

Did you two have the white socks and wooden thongs (don't know their correct name) on? I skateboarded with those on once. Let's just say that the scar was not from having a kidney removed but it may as well have been.

Rusty: If I hear that you've been bragging, I'll personally make it my goal in life to hunt you down like a roach and stomp until I can't stomp anymore.

Saathiya said...

Actually, there was dessert. Cheesecake. But sadly no socks with thongs. *sob*.

Kaufman said...

I was thinking slightly below table height, actually. But cheesecake is good. It spreads well. And considerable effort goes into removing ALL of it.

Saathiya said...

true. particularly as this was some weird bavarian dealie, thus involving all sorts of tricky chocolate shavings and such.

Ultra Toast Mosha God said...

Remember kids:

Surgery first THEN ecstasy. The latter is a celebrant after success of the former. If you do it the wrong way round, whilst you might enjoy the operation more than any you have ever performed before, your sudden empathic understanding of the anaesthetist may distract you from the task at hand.

Kaufman said...

S: Chocolate shavings = scrummy.

UTMG: Order has never held much weight for men of my distinction. Dessert followed by dessert is the best way to spend an evening at home. Unless water, bubbles and bubbly are involved.