December 19, 2005

# 15

I've discovered how to have a real-life episode of Lost in your own home or work place. To become one of millions to know what it feels like to be infuriated, abandoned and downright jacked-off with anyone within speaking distance of you, simply follow these steps.

1. Go to your blogger Dashboard.
2. Press the 'Change Language' function.
3. Choose a language you're least likely to master within three to five years.
4. Republish your site.
5. Let the show begin.


Aminah said...


Kaufman said...

The magic concept here is being frustrated - hence the Lost reference. Have you seen an episode of Lost? It's much like Beverly Hills 90210 except the dialogue's less engaging; just when you think something's going to happen and answers are going to be revealed, it doesn't and they're not.

Anyway, I was saying that once you've logged on to your blogger site, the page that has your profile is called the 'Dashboard'. There you'll find the change language function. I recommend Espanol or Japanese (or perhaps another language you don't understand). Choose one, save the changes and REPUBLISH your blog.

Let me know if it's as frustrating as I predict(ed).

Saathiya said...

I did that once by accident. Took me a while to figure out what the hell had happened. Oh, what a day that was. My memory isn't what it used to be but I am pretty sure the entire earth was detroyed.

Kaufman said...

I distinctly remember that day, which leaves me to deduce that you're keeping something from me, Saathiya. Hmm.

My tyre blew followed closely thereafter by Earth. Photographic evidence tells me normality was reinstated when Noxzema released its 'continuous clean microblend clanser.'
I remember for a while I felt certain; you know, like at Blue Light Discos, that my face was going to explode and that acne driven puss on walls would become the new black. It wasn't to be.

I hope we're not the only ones to have sampled from that vault of language function mystery because it's the buzz of a lifetime.*

* Technically, if the Earth blows up we forfeit all rights to a previous existence. By this rationale, the Osmonds never happened. Hooray!

Ultra Toast Mosha God said...

The osmonds never happening is a universal goal we must all strive for.

Trivialisation of this struggle will not be tolerated.


reverendtimothy said...

I did that on my mobile phone once. It didn't end well.

Mrs DC said...

If I want this kind of effect I usually lace the water-source with ketamin, so everyone gets to enjoy the fun.

Kaufman said...

Ultra: Images of Death playing double bass kept me awake at night.

RT: Nothing ends well with mobile phones. They're an apocalyptic curse on mankind. Mk my wrdz.

DDC: How we laughed that first time. Remember? Still unsure why we changed into bikinis. But we did laugh.

Ultra Toast Mosha God said...

Images of death playing with himself keep me awake at night.

Kaufman said...

Air guitar noodling for all!

Ms Smack said...

Air Guitar? I've got 5.

Kaufman said...

My place isn't big enough for five. I have one. It's average sized.