July 05, 2006

# 103

In a poorly planned attempt to publish something earlier in the day, I mistakenly assumed the internet connection speed of the paasokon at work would be reasonably well equipped to handle and even process information of the electronic kind through its thin blue cable. It wasn't to be, as the ten-minute wait to the inevitable conclusion that the hieroglyphics before my eyes meant that a failure to publish was gloating at what it had achieved and at what I had hoped to achieve.

But we all breathe to lightly tap the convex screen of the outdated monitor with the heavy end of a hole puncher, don't we? And let's not forget to mention the biting of our lower lip whilst flaring our nostrils; looking believable in our facial expressions of innocence at failing to comprehend the acerbic phrases emitting from our bodies.

Thank fuck I was the only one who understood English in that joint. Ai? Ai!

It's cool. I didn't like that story anyway; too many explicit sex scenes and not enough hot glue.

Closer to home, the school de jour gave me a fifteen-minute salutation of farewell in an impromptu ceremony without air conditioning. Teeming with funky vocal cords and backed by the tinkering of ebony and ivory keys, I expected liquid featuring NaCl of joy to flow as I gazed into the sea of young faces.

I was well chuffed at the conclusion of the spontaneous show of gratitude to escape with only sweat beneath my peepers, as it was far too upbeat a number to go all misty eyed and wah-wah, boo-hoo, gonna-miss-the-great-times.

Nine such send-offs over nine such working days to go, bringing to an end a thoroughly enjoyable love affair with the land of the rising sun and my role within it.



Ultra Toast Mosha God said...

Were they singing 'Go West' by the Pet Shop Boys?

That probably would have made me cry.

Kaufman said...

Now, now, Toast. Those Boys are famous, wealthy and likely to out-accessorise both of us.

What does one wear with purple pumps?

More to the point, WTF are purple pumps?

Ultra Toast Mosha God said...

I doubt it.

I could out-accessorize the SS.

One wears something breezy and pink, or deep blue when considering the Purple Pump.

Purple Pump.

Uh huh huh huh....

Kaufman said...

'Take a ride, take a shot now.'


- Sour Times by Portishead.

Captain Berk said...

'I can't get behind that!'

William Shatner.

(scum. sub human scum)

benjibopper said...

im glad berk and i are agreed about shatner.

i had a similar english swearing experience after rolling my ankle today during a game of ultimate frisbee. i only hoped the children present hadnt studied english swearwords in school.

and, i bawled like a baby when i left work. it was truly embarrassing, especially when the woman who hired me ripped into me with merciless teasing. man, environmentalists are tough.