Hey you, the Rock Steady Crew, show 'em what to do, make a break make a move.
I'm not claiming to know what has happened to England's all-conquering abilities, so I'll throw a lifeline to someone at CricInfo.com to have a go at explaining it to me, you, and everyone we know:
'2.1 (overs): Harmison to Tharanga, 1 wide, this defies belief. Harmison back aiming at first slip and on target.'
Okay. So, essentially, what you're saying is that the Englandomish bowlers are spraying the deliveries into the proverbial stands. As an avid follower of the gentlemanly game and as a staunch supporter of fairness through sport, I need to ask: Should there be any further cause for concern with regards to the English skills during the time of this line of questioning?
'5.6 (overs): Ali to Tharanga, 3 runs, A gentle push which evades Solanki at backward point and races across the outfield and Harmison had to make a rather undignified sprawling stop on the boundary. He gets up with all the agility of a grounded giraffe.'
Cheers, muchacho. I think the virtual peepers are free of any undesired static.
How about an update at the 20-over mark? (136/1)
'Those watching on TV might have noticed some marks on the outfield. It seems they are a legacy of recent concerts on the ground. They used The Oval for a series of rock concerts in 1971 and 1972, an idea ended when Motorhead fans started bonfires on the outfield…'
Well, pardon me for thinking that you're being a complete and utter dick about all this. Go you mighty Poms; 3-0 down in a best-of-five series isn't the ballgame!