January 17, 2006

# 28

Something you may not have known about me: I can't stand the show The Simple Life. In fact, the absurdity of the idea alone of basing a TV show around two phenomenally-rich, ultra-insecure, untalented, repulsive, twenty-something hags stumbling at feats of labour most of us could do with our eyes tied behind our backs defies every belief I may have entertained that the Homo sapien species is an evolving one.

Unless, of course, the premise behind the programme was to cater to the most common denominator of TV usage: those who worship the television set as the single most important discovery by mankind and will, therefore, watch anything and everything as stipulated in fine print by this quasi-religion which guarantees non-membership to anyone in possession of a working mind, in which case, it is without hyperbole the single most brilliant idea yet by a fellow Homo sapien.

More about discoveries, inventions and predetermined stellar paths later, thanks to Chloe's recent theories, revelations and questions.

Before I forget and leave myself wide open to obvious (and deserved) castigation, the reason for my having watched The Simple Life in order to proclaim it as the single biggest piece of shit, metaphorically speaking, ever dreamt up by mankind was because I'd sooner be thought of as a prissy little white boy who savours the right to express himself honestly than a hypocrite, which I would be if I suggested The Simple Life was the single biggest piece of shit, metaphorically speaking, without actually watching an episode.

As they say in the classics, never again.


Mrs DC said...

don't believe you - you love it really

Kaufman said...

Couldn't get enough of it. In fact, I'm downloading everything that's on offer RIGHT NOW!

But wait, THERE'S MORE!

I've also procured the services of the most accomplished hair accoster in the district, who's feverishly applying a one-of-a-kind merkin to my head to resemble the ugly chick with the horse mane, whatever her name is; Not Paris perhaps, in time for viewing of the next episode. Sure hope Elonzo here knows his business as it's causing me more pain than I'd care to admit.

The things I do to become part of the in crowd (can be counted on one hand).

Ms Smack said...

Lindsay Lohan lol

Buddy Belcher said...

The Simple Life eh... I propose a similar show about me... also called the simple like... but it just has me sitting around, watching tv, looking on the net. Eating. Sleeping.
It'll get people outside.

Chloe said...

(1)It's on Fox
(2)The average American isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer
(3)Nor is he/she all that discriminating
(4)Hilton & Ritchie come from money

In other words, a recipe for disaster.

And thank you so much for the link!