August 06, 2006

# 108





*Transmission from somewhere in the southern hemisphere*

I'm not online, at least not on any regular basis. There may be a gap of up to six days between now and my next post as my significant other and I brought the plane down in a tropical location where a ton of English is spoken. Henceforthwithetc, the voodoo chile Internet baybeh has been made available for our fingertips to walk on. The catch is that we shall continue to shovel food of immaculate perception into our food disposal units and absorb the visual dynamics of a constantly changing landscape we had gotten to know from the pre-Japanese era while the remainder of our body parts get reacquainted with a lifestyle of the heartily Australian persuasion. My vernacular has already experienced an overload of the terms "mate," "bloke," "fella" and "seppo." It's all good. A man claiming to be an expert in the field has suggested by way of remedy the removal of shoes and socks for all outdoor pursuits such as walking, swimming and dining, and a greasing of our respective soft tissue membrane using locally made liquid intoxicants. As we're sticklers for staying on the path of rehabilitation, I'm guessing full re-Australianisation could be as imminent as August 8th. Rumour of technology at our makeshift abode being of late '80s make has been found to be true. Hope of regular updates with accompanying images has been rendered futile; alone time for masturbation and sleep has suffered similar fate. The wife is healthy, beaming and loving the opening partnership of the 20th week of mini alien harnessing. In short, life and the Kaufmans are getting on like a housedoused in petrol. Bring on the matches. Unless they finally push the button, I'll be seeing you - and you - on the other side. Ooroo for now.
*Transmission ends*



8 comments:

Ultra Toast Mosha God said...

Sweet Jesus!

There you are!

I was starting to think you were never going to land.

The polygon runway I fashioned out of pixelelated coconuts had gradually been picked off by techno-parrots and cyber monkeys - despite my best efforts to neutralise/violate them with my virtual fighting sticks.

Thank heavens I was able to replenish it.

I'll wave you down with the Table tennis bats i drew in 'Paint'

Kaufman said...

Hey there Toasty Boy.

The flight was as smooth as the toddler's arse we're bathing on a regular basis (friends' babies = practice). Indeed, Nagoya to Cairns direct was the transition to end all smooth transitions and easily head and shoulders ahead of any previous overseas venture from the big J.

Thanks for the flashing lights and background music, amigo.

I'll visit your pad when the connection allows (read: when I find a computer without dial-up and Windows 1900).

Ooroo. ;)

Ultra Toast Mosha God said...

Windows 1900.

Ha!

I expect future Bill Gates already travelled back to that time and laid foundations for his evil technological empire, secretly inventing the typewriter under a pseudonym.

Maybe

benjibopper said...

Did you get any 'buddies' to go with the mates and whatnots? Australia, that's near Africa, right? I should go, sounds nice.

Saathiya said...

Should I be glad he didn't say "Australia? That's that really tiny country in Europe right?"

Hmmm...

Under the Radar said...

God I am so jealous.I hope you are having a great time though. Autralia was it? I knew you had an accent from somewhere but I thought it was Wales...

Ultra Toast Mosha God said...

I suspect he's probably dethroning dubiously crowned monarchs or skydiving with pygme babies.

I hear that's what they are doing on these club 18-30 holidays these days

Kaufman said...

BB: It's near New Caledonia.


Saathiya: G'day. Long time no visual peek.

UTR: Life's better than great. Full-time work is between the scopes.

UTMG: 18-30. Ha! Your flattery cheapens my crows feet.